| I couldn't help it but blog again.
Life's been such a "train rush and train wreck". So many things happened around and yet it is amazing how God can still sustain me.
Where do I start? Perhaps on the day I landed on the beautiful land of smiles - Bacolod, Philippines.
The memories are still fresh in my mind. It seemed like last week, though 1 month had passed. We went from places to places in Philippines. I had the opportunity to preach in a few places and each time, the power of God just overwhelmed me and it seemed like I was not the one preaching anymore.
The day I landed in a pension house with my 12 members team, I had to preach that very night. It was my first experience preaching in foreign church. I was excited because I had prepared something back home. The Lord gave me something.
Then just when I thought that I do not have the chance anymore. The Lord prepared my heart and prompted me to pen out a second message at night. I did not understand why but then I did it. And truly, I was given another chance to preach. This time on my own with just one team member. The church is in Silay - pastored by a Singaporean couple with their Singaporean Co-worker.
This pastor was a senior senior in my Bible College (AGBC). Though it was my first time meeting him and his wife, we were talking like we had been friends. I think this is God's way of making me feel comfortable because there is an AGBC culture there. [Just say Hi and you become friends :) ].
And then, I had another chance to visit the village area in the iron mines. The people there are very very poor. We went to share the Gospel and our tesimonies. That late afternoon, I was called by my pastor to preach on healing. It was short but powerful (as commented by my team). It is not me, it is GOD!
It seemed that I had so much fun. What a wonderful train rush!
But back home, things are happening. I kept this in my heart for a month. I could not contain any longer. It just breaks my heart when I talked about it. I still want to cry when I think of it. When I came back from the trip, I have to leave the very next two days to attend bible school camp.
I made long distance call back home. I had my beloved long distanced...sharing with me about what happened. He was very upset and I was very upset too. In just 3 weeks, we lost 4 friends. No...they are not dead.
Just that something happened and our friendship just ended. I cannot explain to you what happened because it is already over. I cannot talk about it because I did not want to, not because I am not allowed to. We were not allowed by the opposite party to talk about it, so I choose not to out of respect and out of trouble.
I just felt hurt...I just felt that I need to let the steam out. If not, I cannot move on...
Friendships for almost 10 years... jeopardised. I was upset. I was quiet about it. I was not myself for the past 2 weeks. It was so bad that my churchmate felt something was going on. But I kept saying I am ok. I am just emo.
Well...I am not emo. I am just being upset. I am just upset that these 4 friends of mine can no longer attend my wedding. They can no longer be part of my life. And we can no longer be truthful to each other.
The best part is...I cannot even tell them how I felt because it may end up being an "emotional blackmail" thing.
Whatever it is...this whole matter opened my eyes and made me realised how ugly friendships can become. And I shall hold my peace.
And truly but surely, man will fail you but God never.
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